The day starts as obligatory with a mug of warm water and discussing my current physical shape with M. To my complaint that I am quite overweight, M. responds:
“You’re thicc! It’s very pleasing to the eye. Thicc is what they say about black girls or the kardashians, big booty and thighs. All the more to love…”
I keep on complaining that my attempt to write about sex is defined as cliché by someone who matters a lot to me. But M. is of a different opinion. Says he:
“You write about sex in your own style and with charm… Anything written about sex is apt to seem slightly cheesy and/or cliché but you find enough originality to make it worth doing. I think it’s very you. It shows how strong you are and is compellingly charming. Whereas I writhe in agony in my loneliness, you ride it like a dashing surfer on a wave. You live life by some fantastical metric that only you understand the beat of…”
So in order to assure me my sex scene was rather neat and charming, he burrowed online some rather fascinating competition for badly described sexual encounters.
The Bad Sex in Fiction Award honors the most incredibly unpleasant sex scene in an otherwise readable novel. You have never seen copulation depicted in such unnatural ways.
I also managed to send to some of my friends a nsfw meme and they were very much indignant…although the picture is actually of happy people
Today I shopped buns with maple syrup, cooked my favorite salad and had a walk with my bestie, and I learned this story:
My girlfriends from high-school were on a trip in Italy. They had to get on a train, but the ticket validation machine was not working. So they were advised from the office on the station to look for the ticket inspector, and he would solve their problem for them.
Later on, at the station arrived a Czech family, and they tried to use the ticket validation machine. Naturally, it didn’t work, and they asked my besties how exactly did they do it. My girlfriends explained in perfect English that the machine was broken and they have to ask the inspector to validate their tickets, but the Czech family did not understand. One of the girls tried to explain in fluent Italian, but the Czech family still didn’t understand. Finally, one of them burst:
MASCHINE KAPUTT !!!
and everything instantly became clear.