Do you sometimes feel like you’re putting out loud and clear signals to your love interest, but he’s just not receiving them? It can be an upsetting experience when the stars otherwise seem aligned, but no magic is happening. What could possibly be going wrong?
It might be the case that the two of you aren’t speaking the same language, and we’re not talking about not being able to speak Italian to capture the attention of a hot Italian guy.
In the 1990’s Dr Gary Chapman published a volume on the five languages of love. People tend to have a primary love language and when it differs to that of your partner, or desired love interest, confusion might rein. If you find yourself asking the question, “Does he even care about me at all?”
It could be that you and he have different primary love languages.
So what exactly are these five so-called languages of love?
In no particular order they are:
* words of affirmation
* acts of service
* receiving gifts
* quality time
* physical touch
Once you’re aware of these languages you might be able to think back to past events and make sense of why you’re loud and clear signals just seemed to bounce off a brick wall.
Imagine if your primary language is receiving gifts, but his is words of affirmation. He’s telling you how lovely you are, how much he adores you, but in your mind, you’re thinking, “Well that’s very cute, but you’re not exactly demonstrating how much you love me by showering me in little gifts.”
You should be able to get an idea of how other mixtures of language would play out. You might speak in “acts of service”, doing lots of kind gestures for your love interest, but he doesn’t seem to appreciate them at all! If his primary language is “physical touch” he might be thinking, “she certainly does a lot for me, but I feel deprived of touch. She never reaches out and holds my hand, or caresses my arm. I don’t think she really cares about me that deeply.”
So have a think about how you express your feelings, and what language your love interest might be speaking. By asking a couple of simple questions about his likes and dislikes when it comes to affection, you should be able to detect his love language secret and finally get the attention you’ve been craving.