Have you ever tried a good intense movie scene at home?
Have you tried to fry your eggs on her belly like Charlie Sheen in Hot Shots?
Or dance for him in the way Kim Basinger did on high heels in Nine 1/2 Weeks?
Or use some butter as they did in Last Tango in Paris, the scandalous movie with the very first anal scene in cinema?
Pick a random sex scene from your favorite romance. Pick a scene in which the characters are trembling from the desire after their mutual attraction has escalated on screen for what seems like ages. He undresses her slowly as if he opens a Christmas present. When she is deprived of clothes she looks as perfect as Venus de Milo coming out of the sea foam. He slowly kisses her, she joyfully submits to his urges, they are in full unison, absolute harmony, their bodies intertwined in an aesthetic dance of love. He penetrates her as if he is entering high heaven. He gracefully dominates her, it is poetry fleshed out from their bodies…they merge and become one, and then Rumi speaks in their hearts:
Joyous, blissful moment, sitting on the porch, you and I
two forms, two faces, yet one soul together, you and I
Love spills from their hearts, they are delirious, they are one.
Now let’s make this at home.
A digression: I remember a photo shoot I had a couple of years ago. I was a sea goddess, fresh, smooth and lovely. I had opened my wings and was happily floating in the air above the sea. I was the perfect fairy, and the photographer followed me with eyes replete with the view…I was flying…so cocksure and incredible, so attractive and liberated, simply the best!
And in this very moment – a seagull had to shit on my arm. Damn seagulls!
Well, let’s return to the unfortunate attempt at home. A domestic surprise: eggs don’t fry on her belly in an hour full of grand excitement. Romance sounds superb in books, but in reality – bodies with a lot of imperfections and perspiration clash in the funniest and most exciting act that we humans know of. Yes, there is pleasure, but hardly as sublime as in the pink paperbacks. Sex is healthy, but it is not beautiful and it doesn’t look perfection even one bit. If you try to undress her as a Christmas present, you might get into an argument with her incorruptible bra. Not all the time your flame’s beauty will remind you of the Californian sunset.
But let’s defy the statement in the title with a recipe for good sex.
Still, sex is beautiful. It is the full union of two enamored souls. It can be incredibly rewarding…all you need is good concentration, a focus on the person you make love to. In that you should be not expecting, but forgiving. It’s very hard to be emotionally concentrated for the entire act. Spare your partner from your perfectionism. Bodies are rough and flawed matter. There are things about your bodies, which will not please you…unless you are focused on pleasing his soul with the act. Sex is something in which all the chakras take part, a rejuvenating, delirious, fantastic activity. Just don’t do it by the book. Invent it every time. Give in…
And here am I after I washed my arm: