Imagine you have a crush on someone you have met…on the TV Screen. You love his pretty eyes, his alluring smile and the way he says confidently that he is “burdened with a glorious purpose…” But is he perfection? Does your starry flame really use the lavatory?
Obviously screen characters have the qualities of a fairy-tale creature or a deity. You never realize that in real life they are just as mundane as any of us. The same humiliating daily moods and tasks pertain to all of them, as well.
We love them because they are perfection to us, we never see their weak sides…and we would love to be in their sparkling reality. Imagine how deeply they are disturbed – we trade our affection for their presumable perfection and no one really cares to know who they are. Meanwhile, all kinds of journalists try to pry under their sheets, and they are leading a war against the media, in order to stay immaculate in the eyes of the audience and keep their privacy…Isn’t it really very sad? Probably that’s the reason most Hollywood couples fall apart.
A great part of loving a person consists in accepting his downsides as cordially as his upsides. Sophia Lauren said: “Not beauty decides who do we love, it is Love, which decides who we find beautiful.” One of my boyfriends had learned how to like every photo of me…when I didn’t look great in the photo he divided it in parts: “look at her eyes, look at her mouth, look at her bosom – aren’t they perfection, they just have not combined well in this very picture, and it is the fault of the photographer…”
A mother is never angry that her child has pooped. True love has to do with meeting her with her scrambled hair and morning mood, trying to caffeinate your conversation so that everything goes smoothly. It has to do with digging his socks in front of the tent when you are on a hiking trip. It means loving him when his nose is running into his hot cup of tea that you just made for him when he doesn’t look good, and he complains of stomach discomfort. To be there when he needs a massage, for his back is sore…and of course to share nice, comfortable, cheap and not classy moments, such as hugging under the blanket and watching soccer together. It means to care about her when she does not deserve it, because everyone cares for the deserving.
There is an interesting Catalonian Christmas tradition – they add to their Nativity scene a figurine depicted in the act of defecation – the Caganer.
Yes, you heard right – a little shitting human wearing the traditional Catalan red cap adorns the Nativity scene. There are many explanations of this tradition – a possible reason is that the Caganer is the process of fertilizing the Earth. But the explanation I loved is that God can see us in every moment, even when we are trying to hide.
This is why most spiritually evolved people celebrate unconditional love. If you love somebody for their beauty and wits – well people tend to lose them, but if you are in love with them for their soul – you are profoundly bound to them for ages and eternities to come…So I am the biggest advocate for imperfections, for they are the fair proof of true, faithful, eternal love.
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