How Do You Feel When You Love Somebody Who Doesn’t Love You Back
Poets would put it that way: “Lips lifeless should not respond to lips burning with the best blood of the heart.”
When rejected, most people feel forlorn, desolated or even superfluous. There’s hardly worse blues than a broken heart. Still, it is something natural, for all of us have done it to our neighbors, without even blinking. We even blame them for being around, being hungry and foolish, believing they are entirely dependent on us. It is not only tedious to be someone’s dream. We even allow ourselves to disrespect the people who have honored us. We consider it our divine right to neglect them. They are random to us.
Being Happily In Love
Falling in love is a basic human right, and being loved is a basic human need. However, very few of the people have fallen happily in love. Love, when returned boosts our self-confidence significantly. Oh what a piece of work we are – to be so adored, ardent, beautified, impassioned. “That’s why, darling, it’s incredible, that someone so unforgettable, thinks that I am unforgettable too.” People in love are “crazy” about each other – they are never bored because all they think about is themselves. Isn’t it fabulous how in romance everything is exaggerated: “I will love you for an eternity, you are the greatest, your kiss is as good as the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, you spin me around, I love you more than the imaginable – oh, wow! Yeah, you drive me crazy for you baby! Never, ever!”
Being happily in love feels as if you are slightly tipsy the entire time. This other person is heaven! They are every second thought on your mind and that puts you in a very pleasant spiritual state. Yes, being in love is awesome.
“And if love be madness – may I never find sanity again!” – John Mark Green
But how does one act, when they are denied the blessings of The Spark?
For better or worse, it is hard to break human hope. People have the quality of always believing that the good things will come their way, and this person is the best thing ever! You believe that the inability to get him off your mind indicates that you are on his mind as well. In such case, the best healing option is time. You have loved him for 5 years and he paid no attention to you. You keep hoping. You haven’t met him in 5 years, and you still tremble at his name. You keep hoping. You think that you and him will always be unfinished business. But one day you see a picture of him kissing a really pretty girl in a bridal dress. You no longer hope. Hope vanishes into thin air, the realization comes to you – this person is better without you. Before you come to this conclusion, you have suffered. In a blink – you recover. You no longer need to know what has gone wrong. Suddenly, you are free, and you are young again – and you love to be young, and you love to be free. That’s one possible scenario.
As usual, you have got more than one option.
There is hardly anything sadder than people who are in unrequited love. It doesn’t feel right. They say it feels like drowning, only you are not dying…their souls are hurt to death by love. It’s great stress – a total spiritual agony. He would never look at you without a hint of disdain. Still, his name sounds like a melody to you. There is hardly anything worse that the world can put you through. You have a right divine to do anything to “get him into your world, and hold him within…”
Of course, you want to be liked! You are such fun to be around – that’s what your friends know. You are smart – according to grandma. You are funny, you are (very) cute, you are crazy. You are perfect in an imperfect way. You speak your mind and you have the best laughter in the world. Of course, he should like you! You are you!
Undeserving, foolish, petty you.
Awesome, attractive, incredible you.
Those two states alternate when he looks down on you and when he smiles at you. “Epochal happiness seems tantalizingly close, wholly real and yet – maddeningly out of reach.” Other people advise you to simply give up. They call your state The Blind Sunday (a Bulgarian idiom for an uncontrolled state of infatuation). They don’t realize you are in dark grief. You, on the other hand, do not realize that it’s a standard romantic situation.
But it has got its upside as well.
At some point of your life, at a certain level of spiritual maturity, you realize that everyone needs a romantic lover – your sister does, your mother does, your father does, your cat does. Try to satisfy this free niche. Celebrate your family, make coffee for them, surprise them in pleasant ways, listen, don’t argue and delight in everything about them. This is called unconditional love – and it is a perfect sign that the true romance is coming your way, undressed from the illusions that enticed you in your younger years. For God believes in every person in the world, and all of us have similar needs. If you can take the disappointments from the people who live with you with a smile, if you manage to not be annoyed by their faults and failures, that makes you a great catch, for you have learned to love unconditionally. Romance is no longer a matter of luck, now it is a matter of choice. You can pick just any person and spill your blessings upon them. People respond to you like you are a cupcake. You have hacked Romance, the eternal bliss, you are one with your Creator. You are not simply in love, you are love!