On Self-Esteem

self esteem

If you are tall or small – I like you!
If you are fat or thin – I like you!
If you are rich or poor – I like you! I like you! I like you!

Self-esteem is a basic human need. It’s what wonderfully motivates us. It’s crucial for how we see the world. What actually is self-esteem? The confidence in our abilities to perform in life, our feeling of being worthy, our achievements, the feeling that everything is wonderful and as it should be. Confident people are certain that they deserve love and happiness. They feel better and therefore live better.

Do you like and respect yourself?

Self-esteem is the way you feel about yourself. The worst thing you can do to a human being is to break their self-esteem. You can do this to most people by depriving them of external factors such as their money, their possessions, and their friends. Healthy esteem that cannot be broken belongs to the heroes of this world. Self-esteem is breakable, but thank goodness, given the proper therapy it can be restored, and the person may once again feel the greatness he felt when he was innocent and unblemished.

The worst killers of self-esteem are guilt, anger, and shame. Your discontent with life comes from inner, often sub conscious feelings of unacknowledged shame, guilt or anger. Those feeling anxious, fearful, embarrassed, angry, ashamed and disgusted because of their selves are the perfectionists in this world – who are actually constantly miserable with their own imperfect experience.

You rise. You fall. The more confident the person – the better he is able to cope with trouble and rise after he has fallen. But how does one get to feel that way? Self-esteem is nurtured by little and big achievements. One of the most rewarding achievements is a beautiful relationship.

Self Esteem and Romance

Falling in love feels amazing. You attract to you what is in you.

A great part of our self-esteem depends on our relationships and it’s a vicious circle. You need self-esteem to be open and sincere. There is no barrier to romance greater than the feeling you are not worthy of love and you are going to be hurt. If I believe I am unworthy, how am I supposed to share myself? If I do not accept myself, how can I accept your love for me? Eventually, when you manage to prove your love for me, then maybe you are not good enough for me. Only someone who rejects me is suitable for my devotion. We don’t give ourselves to people, who want the chance. We prefer to suffer for those, who don’t care.

Groucho Marx says: I would never join a club that would accept me as its member!

People with low self-esteem need to perceive other people as inferior. People with high self-esteem do not strive to feel superior to others; they simply do not need to compare and enjoy being who they are. Self-esteem increases your ability to survive even on the most basic of planes – the physical existence. If we lack enough self-esteem, we are restricted in our choices in a frightening way. All of us have this need to feel important and worthy.

Self-concept is destiny.

But how to generate Self-Esteem?

Read positive stuff to yourself every morning. Make it the beginning of a fantastic day! Books are awesome.

Leave the past alone, dream about the future. Yes, it is going to punish you, the past bites! Why? All people have made big mistakes in the past. Now you think differently. You have to forgive yourself for those past experiences, which haunt you. This is easier said than done. But when you delve into the past experience and ask yourself why, you will find out that all the things you believe are wrong with you are actually the behavior of your hurt, inner child. You will love yourself again. You will love others as well.

When you feel comfortable with your mistakes, you begin to accept the mistakes of others. Forgive others, they never meant to hurt you, anyway. It doesn’t cost anything to be kind. Say kind words, make them feel important since everything you do returns to you with triple power. It’s the witch’s law of Karma.

Be on your own side.

People refuse to accept things that they don’t like in their appearance or character. They do not like themselves when they are inadequate, flawed or imperfect.
If only I was smarter, thinner, prettier if only I had more money… it’s the eternal struggle for perfection.

Don’t let other people’s opinions about you to become your reality.
When you look into the mirror, what do you see?
Well, it depends on your self-esteem.
Yes. You are really good enough. You are worthy.
Do not compare yourself with others, you are really good!
You have the birth right to splendor.
A woman needs only a smile to be pretty.

So, smile! Focus on Action. Lose weight. Just stop sugar. Stop smoking. Just start taking care of your appearance. Wear your new clothes. List the ten things you are thankful for. Get the money!

Self-esteem is based on what you do.

You are actually responsible for everything you do. You are not here because of the state, government, school, parents…all those institutions are not guilty instead of you. You actually have a choice.

But what is the price of happiness?

Believe in yourself! And be ready to accept all the compliments. You will spend a lifetime with yourself. Nothing is ever going to change that fact. Knowing, liking and appreciating yourself is crucial for your sanity. If you are open to it, there is a help.

Author: LadyF

I know that I can speak about writing until I annoy even the most patient person. It obviously is more than a passion to me. Dean Kansky said: "You know, the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one thing after a man died: "Did he have passion?"

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