Dear Lady F,

I don’t really need advice about my love life, as people say: It’s raining men. However, I really care about a book. 

I have this ex. I borrowed him a book and he doesn’t want to give it back to me after we broke up. It’s not about the book I can feel that, he’s just playing with me. We both have other sweethearts now but he still does all his best to keep me hanging on. That’s the case with the book – I feel if I get it back it will be over between us. So please tell me how to do that without confronting him.

Dear Miss T,

You are in trouble. You have lost a book. Don’t think about it – it’s just stuff, dear. Be merry, happy and bright that you have come out of the relationship so to say “in one piece.” To quote Alice: “What’s the use of a book, without pictures and conversations?” Consider how many pictures and conversations flow through Facebook on a daily basis, do you really need this book?

Since a guy did not sent to you a vampire to startle you in the middle of the night, you should feel happy and relaxed. After all he’s only one of your exes, imagine what would have happened if all of them owed you a narrative?

Sneak into his bedroom at night and steal the precious thing from the cabinet.
Ok, I am kidding. But it could have been worse. He could have kept a hair from yours and making voodoo spells for you to come back. Think like this: maybe he likes the book. (Or he does not know where he placed it. Or he accidentally ate soup above it, and doesn’t want to return it in this state.) Maybe this book is really useful to him, especially if it is a handbook on how to please you.

Think of the reason you gave this book to him. If the reason is gone… he will eventually return it to you, and slap the door in your face after he has instructed you to “Snap out of it!!!”

Is it really worth it? Don’t cry over a lost book.