A Story Experiment by Daniel and Lady F

This is a role-play story created together with a Siberian man – Daniel, who loves talking to people and whose level of English is intermediate. Daniel and Lady F make an experiment: to create a story without a good command of the language

D: I woke up early in the morning because the dog was barking rather loudly. After I opened my eyes I heard someone knocking on my door. I said to myself: “Damn…why on Earth does somebody need me so early this morning?” I looked at the watch on my bed table – it was 6:30. I put on my robe and opened the door. There was nobody there, but a piece of paper left on the doorstep. “What the hell is that?” I said to myself and picked the paper from the floor. I went out and looked around – there was no one. Okay, let me go inside to see what the hell this is.

L: She was watching everything from her terrace as she used to watch him every single day. It took a lot of courage to leave a love note for him with her phone number and a short explanation on the doorstep of the most attractive man in the neighborhood. She wondered if she had to add a negligee picture of herself. He had probably never noticed her, although her window and terrace were looking at his window and terrace… and she spent a lot of time near the window, while he spent a lot of time hanging his laundry. So living next to her, he probably didn’t know she existed. Yet, everything was in his hands and she waited for his next move, and her heart was beating frantically fast.

D: I told my dog to shut up because he was behaving really annoyingly, and sat down on my chair in the living room, and turned on the lights. It was still dark outside, and I wondered what type of crazy individual could leave this piece of paper over there at that early morning. I looked at my dog and asked him, “Do you know who it might have been?” Of course, you know, you dogs have such good nostrils. Okay let me look at it, I unfolded it carefully and the first thing I saw there was written in beautiful cursive, “I want you and I to be united as one” and below there was supposedly a cellphone number. Unintentionally, my lips curved in a smile, because it was the last thing I expected to find on my doorstep, and then the questions started attacking me. Who might it be? Do I know her? Probably, I’ll never know the truth until I telephone her and ask her direct questions. I sniffed the paper and it had a pleasant and expensive aroma, which only testified that the crazy individual has a good taste and she is not as crazy as I thought before. I took my cell phone and start thinking if to dial that number will be a good idea at all, a lot of cheaters and maniacs and other type of criminal minded people are seeking for their victims everywhere. No…I will definitely call but I’ll do it in the evening, let me think a little bit more who might it be.

L: She stayed at the window for two hours, holding the phone. When nothing happened, she felt ignored in the worst of manners. She had to go over him. She had to go out, get drunk, get into a fight and pay for sex, to make her feel a little bit better. But it was late morning. So she decided on the second best thing – chocolate. Nearby recently a small chocolatier had opened a friendly café. She went there with a female magazine, and her black sunglasses, pretending to read, she was gazing at people as that made her feel comfortable. Suddenly, she felt tense as she saw him open the door of the rather intimate café. It was then 10:30 – time for his morning latte. He would sit on the bar and enjoy the morning beverage all by himself. Then he would leave for work. But this morning he looked somehow different. He was looking around intensely, and she felt he saw her for the first time.

D: I let my dog out to do his business. He likes going out in the mornings, but it’s not possible the entire time to wake myself up so early, so today he was a lucky dog. I went to the kitchen, opened the door of my fridge and looked inside. There is nothing special, which I would want to eat for breakfast today. I need a woman I told myself, for how long my stubborn personality will be alone and hardly surviving? There is not even food in my fridge, and on top of that I don’t like eating alone, I like family traditions, sharing food with my wife and children, meanwhile discussing some problematical stuff which occurs in every family. My thoughts took me to that piece of paper again, that’s not what I usually do – calling strange numbers, but in this case, I have to give it a shot, definitely! Okay, let me first go to my favorite cafe and make myself a little bit happier with food.

L: He looked happy with his morning latte…probably he has got Italian origin since he drank coffee fast like the Italians. But did he really notice her? She decided to take off her black glasses and give him the eye. Then she started patting her gorgeous blond hair, which gave her an innocent Barbie look. But she reminded herself that he did not reply to her advances, and did not call her.  Probably he thinks I am a sick pervert following him around and for the last thing – it might be the case. But wasn’t that what every woman in the neighborhood was doing – the mysterious young man with the dog had attracted plenty of housewives, who secretly sighed for him. 

D: That coffee is really amazing today and especially with that huge sandwich I’ve just purchased. I started drinking that coffee more intensely as if I’m in a desert drinking water after a long absence of it. The day promised to be good because first of all there was nothing really particular and significant to do at my work today, and the second reason, the weather today is just so amazing. People wear sunglasses even in the cafe. I looked at the woman who was wearing her sunglasses and she looked kind of worried, never mind, the good weather today. I noticed how she took off her sunglasses and looked at me. Her appearance was attractive to me, and her eyes expressed something unexplainable. I told her: “Hi, how are you? Can I help you?”

L: “Goodness, he just addressed me!” she thought and her smile flickered in the corners from tension. “Hi, I am Elaine,” she extended her hand and greeted him. He grabbed her hand and shook it really hard. “What was I expecting” – she thought – “that’s a firm male handshake, he is not some sissy.” Yet she felt he could be a little more delicate in greeting her. She had been his neighbor for a couple of years now, and every evening she fell asleep imagining his hands all over her body. But the first touch of his was disappointing… to the extent of rudeness. He shook her hand as if she was his beer mate. Then he didn’t even ask her her name, she thought really that was very rude.”

D: “Hi, Elaine, I’m Daniel. How are you? I introduced myself. I saw that she had extended her hand and shook it. Hm…I found her eyes without sunglasses more attractive to me. “Would you like to share a cup of coffee with me?” I asked. That was an unexpected question even for me, because I am actually a shy person, and I have already forgotten the last time I’ve ever done anything like that. Her shape of body was so precise that she probably did yoga or something like that every single day. I like that type of women, but I have found a tendency that, the more outside beauty a woman has – the ugliest she is on the inside, but it’s just a theory of mine, maybe just my ego has created it in order to let me to survive in this wild world. I looked at her and was waiting for her to answer.

L: Hi Daniel! I have seen you around” she admitted. Well, he was being friendly and all, but why did he choose to invite her to a coffee. Maybe he had found out that she had written the note. Anyways, it was pleasant to officially meet Daniel, and he was so kind he wanted to treat her. So she gave him her best smile. “Yes,” she said, “I would love a cup of coffee with you.” She was fond of his kindness. Now, however, she had to start a conversation and since she knew everything about what he did domestically, she decided to ask him what his job is. “So what do you do for a living?” – She implored and awaited for a five-star occupation.

D: Her smile was cute and expressive and it made me smile unintentionally brighter in response. -You have seen me around? It’s interesting because I’ve never seen you before, and I’m happy I came across you. I work as a private detective, I do private investigations.” I wonder why women ask this particular question all the time, do they hunt after money or what? I tried not to show my disappointment from that question, and asked her “May I sit down here next to you? Or shall we go and have a sit around my table?

L: “I live right next to your place.” – She explained honestly and added, “I have seen you walk your dog and hang your laundry.” She had the feeling he had not verbalized his thoughts and she felt they were very rude. Well… here she is with the most attractive man in the neighborhood, and Lisa and Alice were sitting on the table next to them…rumors will soon be spread around the entire town. She felt she had nothing of value to say… he seemed so down-to-earth and serious…not sensitive at all…and when she asked about his job, he reacted as if she was prying…. well. What to say? Not that she did not like the man – but she didn’t like herself with that man…

D: I felt ashamed because the private investigator wasn’t observant enough to notice that pretty woman in his neighborhood. I asked, “Really? Where exactly do you live?” I sat down by her table without receiving any permission and couldn’t turn my sight away from her deep brown eyes looking at me. “Oh my God that woman magnetizes me with her charm, and I immediately forgot her previous disappointing question and my negative thoughts about her. – “Don’t be afraid of me – private investigators ask certain questions all the time – that’s just my bad habit, but that’s a good chance for us to make a happy acquaintance. I definitely have to ask her for her cellphone number, but how can I do that politely just in the very beginning of our meeting, because my time is limited and in 15 minutes I have to be already in my office to meet my clients.

“My apologies, actually I’m here not for long, and in a couple of minutes I will have to go out of here, but it was my pleasure to meet you. Should we exchange our cellphone numbers in order to have a good meeting later at another time?

L: “Well I left my phone number on your threshold this morning” – she couldn’t believe she just said that but she wasn’t able to lie. She felt exposed and vulnerable. She got up from her place and glimpsed at the door, obviously intending to go out. She couldn’t bear the awkward silence, which is why she really headed to the door, after stating: “Now you got my phone number, in case you need to find me…”

D: “I saw how Elaine quickly went out from the café and couldn’t say any word to her because of the information I had just received. It surprised me, and I remained in silence thinking.

“Who is that woman? Is that a coincidence to meet her here at all? Unbelievable! Anyway, that woman left positive feelings in me, and I’m going to get her whatever it takes, and luckily I already have her cellphone number. I put my hand into the pocket of my jeans.

“Where is it???? Where is it???”

I tried to find the note, in other pockets, but it was unsuccessful. “Maybe, it is in my house,” I told to myself and went out from the cafe.

L: She was a writer. She didn’t have much to do than sit in front of an empty list and try to mix words together in wonderful concoctions. For a long time this unfamiliar man had been her inspiration, but now that she had met him – it wasn’t the case. So she sat in front of her bureau, looking intently at the blank page, then she started to cry – the tears from broken great expectations. She was somehow incredibly disappointed. She took a card from her window pane, on which it was written: “I love you, not only for what you are but for what I am, when I am with you.” She thought she was still going to follow him around, but she was going to hide from him.

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