Who Should Make the First Move?
It’s a painful question.
I have always believed women choose their men, always. Women always get to pick. They intuitively know exactly how to act in order to attract a mate. As a friend of mine says – a woman has to be an inspiration for the man. But what happens in the unfortunate moments when a woman longs for a love interest and knows not what to do, to make him open the door of his heart and invite her in.
A woman never falls in love without a reason. Chances are you are blissful already by his very existence. His moves are graceful to you, his smile fills you with rapture, his voice arouses every cell of yours. It’s beyond anything you can declare, you feel blessed and at the same time doomed. If he touches you it’s more than anything you have ever imagined and experienced. You get the point – you are deliriously happy, but you are insane from sensual cravings. Now, what should you do?
It is universally accepted that a man has got to make the first move unless you are really desperate, a man has got to claim you, and you are supposed to keep your temper until that happens. For if you do not do this – you scandalize the entire neighborhood. You may feel faint at the very thought of his name – nobody must know, for you become gossip material. You may be dying from longing – you must not mention it. Fear in this situation is a good advisor. However, it’s a paralyzing fear. Declaring your love to him takes all your guts. It’s quite out of the self-respecting female character and quite out of your comfort zone. After all, you are happy enough, already by his very existence.
Yes, the first move is the privilege of the men. But destiny loves the brave ones. So ladies, try to find an original way to demonstrate your affection. Remember, we are striving for positive results…so it should be something sweet, candid and irresistible, fine and subtle. If you insist, you might become unexciting…so it should be something little, just between you and him, something discrete and unusual enough to not give him the chance to brag about.
A woman claimed that after she had directly proposed, she felt so proud and relieved as if she had climbed Mount Everest, even though the answer was “No.” When the answer is “no” – what do you have to lose? On the contrary – you have won by confronting the fear of rejection, which is terrifying for people in love. You may part with some of your illusions, but after your heart is broken, you will learn to love anew. Therefore you should feel relieved. As I love to say – the heart is a flexible muscle – even in the most unfortunate of situations, it has got the option to recover.
So if you are content with the situation – do not make any move. But if you are discontent, or you want more – you have to make a move. After all, if he rejects you – what have you lost – your already unsatisfying relationship?
What if you really, really have got something to lose? Sometimes, the truest passions feed on very small gestures. One look in the eyes, a touch of hands, a slow hug may be enough for you and especially if it happens regularly, you are lovesick and you don’t want to lose this so kind and generous attention. In this case, do not force destiny, wait for the man. Both of you are already in the sweet foreplay of an eternal honeymoon. Destiny will probably not be late. Don’t forget you are happy already, merely by his very existence!